People are doing their very best, even when they are clearly not. When you look at life this way, compassion, empathy and respect are the norm.
Wow. What a powerful mindset! How many times today could you have behaved in a different way with someone using this framework as your guide? In the experiment the idea is to use one of our Advanced Communication Skills distinctions and view your own life or your clients lives with the framework in mind.
I encourage everyone to use this one in your own life first because no matter how self aware or “coach like” we are, we pass judgement, and when we do our power is taken from ourselves, our loved ones, clients, players and strangers
So, be honest with yourself and ask who in your life is doing their best but you only see their worst, what they are not doing, how they could do better, how they are just not stepping up, or not playing all in? Spend some time now with this new framework and ask: What do you NOT know? Do they know they are capable of more? Do they have belief in themselves? Is a circumstance impacting them in way you don’t fully understand? GET CURIOUS! And get COMPASSIONATE!
If this is truly all they have to give, how can YOU change so they understand how you value them, as they are, right now! Without change, without fixing, without help…just as they are?
Can you be with what is?
In the spirit of possibility and play!
Coach Deanna
Please join me in this experiment – share your thoughts, feeling, challenge and insights as you approach the week with this framework as your mindset. Post your comments here and link to your website so we can learn who you are and what you offer the world!
Totally living the mindset, Deanna! Life is so much nicer when you can appreciate people’s current limitations knowing that they are only temporary. Its also pretty satisfying to be a part of helping them navigate through it. Thanks for the reminder!
Thanks for this one Deanna. It is one of my favorites. (And oddly the topic of my own article this week.)
What struck me today is how important it is to remember this about OURSELVES. I won’t speak for anyone else, but it is easy to get caught up in thinking that I need to be more, better or just different than I am today. I love to learn new things and take on new challenges, but it is tempting to think I should already know the answers and be playing the game as well as someone who has played a long time.
Compassion for others begins with compassion for ourselves.
Donna,
Thank you for writing this. I just finished a telephone call and was questioning myself on how I handled it. I suppose I could have done better but realize that despite my limitations, I probably did ok. You have relieved my anxiety with your words. Thank you.
Donna,
Thank you for writing this. I just finished a telephone call and was questioning myself on how I handled it. I suppose I could have done better but realize that despite my limitations, I probably did ok. You have relieved my anxiety with your words. Thank you.
Marilyn