A LOT more than you may have heard

LESS…

Problems, questions, tasks and accountability

 

MORE…

Dreams, guided practice, co-creation, spirit of play

Start
Here!

There are many different definitions of Life Coaching; this is understandable because life is so wild and diverse. We have a definition that we feel honors the origins of coaching from athletics, performance arts, the hero’s journey and the human potential movement. AND one that speaks to our greater purpose of uplifting humanity toward egalitarian freedom.

A person – a player – with this level of sophisticated care and support can do amazing things that they would not otherwise do.

Learning how to provide this sophisticated level of care, support and challenge will be one of the most amazing personal growth adventures you ever undertake.

The
Definition

Life Coaching Is…

  1. A profound personal relationship
  2. Where the coach guides the self-determined player
  3. In pursuit of playing better for their Dreams
  4. To become the next version of themselves
  5. Through proactive co-creation
  6. And guided practice

Life Coaching is A LOT more than you may have heard

You may have heard the idea that life coaches only ask questions to help their clients solve their own problems. You may have heard that coaches tell clients what tasks to do and hold them accountable. These are very limited, and limiting, perspectives that only begin to tell the full story of the extraordinary craft of life coaching.

Life Coaching is not really about problems or tasks because life is not about problems and tasks. Life is for playing for our dreams and Coaching is about playing together to play better; also known as guided practice. I am not saying that players with a dream don’t have problems or tasks, of course they do, but they are not the focus. The Dream and playing better are the focus. This important shift in persepctive will become more clear as we move along.

Definition
Parts 1-3

  1. A profound personal relationship

Life coaching is a personal relationship. As a coach you will care about your players and they will care about YOU… as a person. It is very different than the ideas we got about Industrial Culture Professional that was robotic and impersonal.

Life coaching is NOT a service! A service is something you do FOR someone. This is not what coaching is. Coaching is something you do WITH someone.

Also, service often implies subservient and nothing could be further from the truth about life coaching. Coaching is egalitarian.

Often in the corporate coaching space the term “coaching intervention” is used. Please never ever say this phrase. Coaching is NOT an intervention. Coaching is always a mutual choice by both the coach and the player.

Life coaching is profound because it includes action and also goes beneath the surface of life into feelings, emotions, beliefs, desires, possibilities, fears, visions, ideas… the energy side of life which we will explore in Chapter 7.

  1. Where the coach guides the self-determined player

Life Coaching is NOT hierarchical… which is an important detail we will explore in a moment.

Guiding another person on an adventure is a real artform. It is not the same as directing or controlling; but it is much more than a passive companion.

Think about the guide on a hero’s journey like Star Wars Obi Wan Kenobi to Luke Skywalker. They are on the adventure together, they are both actively involved. Obi Wan is sharing observations and wisdom with Luke BUT… Luke makes his own choices about what to do.

Another way to think of this is the Olympic Coach. They are in the training center with the athlete every day sharing the dream together. Olympic athletes deeply thank their coach when they win a medal; they know that they could not have done it alone.

The notion of the self-determined player is essential to Life Coaching. Self-determination is a real challenge for many of us in the industrial culture where nearly every element aims to make us obedient and complient: schools, jobs, familities and many religious communities. (we will explore this in great detail in Part 2)

Often it takes every ounce of self-determination a person has to sign on with a Life Coach in the first place. And from that moment, the Life Coach will aim to uplift the player’s self-determination in everything that they do together. This is absolutely one of the most important roles of Life Coaching in the human family.

  1. In pursuit of playing better for their dreams

Playing better is the essence and the purpose of what ALL coaching is about.

Playfulness is an awesome human superpower. Helping your players restore and maximize their playfulness is a big part of life coaching. I will get into that much deeper in a few moments because the idea of play may be scrambling your mind right now.

To ease into the exploration here are a few ideas to help you understand what I mean by PLAY and playfulness:

  • Curious and Creative
  • Resourceful and Resilient
  • Explore and Experiment
  • Fun! (usually, but not always)

Your Dreams

This is a topic we talk about A LOT at CoachVille; and one you will explore with everyone you coach AND hopefully every person in your life. The Dream is the vision for what we want to express and experience in the world and who we want to become.

In the industrial culture, our Dreams – along with our self-determination – were often squashed. Often your first action as a Life Coach is to uplift the player enough for them to see and feel their own Life Dream; sometimes this can take a little while.

Definition
Parts 4-6

  1. To Become the next version of themselves

Life coaching is always riding on parallel tracks.

One track is focused on the outer experience of what your player is co-creating and accomplishing in the social world.

The other track is focused on the inner experience of growing and becoming; especially becoming the next version of  themselves. The player must become a person who is capable of living the dream they are imagining. Becoming is about feeling more capable, more confident and more free to fully express themselves.

All of us have Superpowers within us that we are not even aware of right now. As a coach you will help your players see them and practice using them.

Often your players will have beliefs within them that may or may not be aligned with their dream. As a coach you will help your players reveal them and uplevel them if they want to.

In the industrial culture there was a lot of pressure on us to conform and fit into an established role or job by suppressing our unique abilities. Along with self-determination and the dream, the unique abilities of the player may take some doing to discover, pump up and practice in order for your player to become the next version of themselves.

This is another powerful aspect of Life Coaching that is truly unique and essential in the human family.

  1. Through proactive co-creation

Talking together is a big part of how ALL coaching happens.

A key in Life Coaching and life playing is to co-create a safe space for deep and provocative conversations. Referring back to statement #2, this is why uplifting the player’s self-determination is so important: both the coach and the player need self-determination to co-create together powerfully.

This brings me to one of my favorite things to share with new coaches and life players!

The ancient power of co-creation!

In the ancient Aramaic Language, there was a power phrase:

Abera Ca Dabera – It means: “I create as I speak”.

You have probably heard of it being used in the context of a magic trick but it is much more practical than that! When two people are talking together in deep conversation with purpose, permission and presence – as happens in a life coaching relationship – it can take on a life all its own. With our words we can speak our dreams into existence and create the new version of ourselves needed to fulfill the dream.

The coach makes this powerful speaking possible with a powerful skill called: Active Listening. This is the “magic” of co-creating that makes coaching such a powerful force in the world!

You and your players will co-create many “things” together: ideas, plans, approaches, awareness, insights and more.

With focus and determination, your player can experience this transformational power! And as a coach you will experience it too… every day!

  1. And guided practice

If you really want to hone in on the true essence of coaching, guided practice is the THING.

A key in Life Coaching and life playing is to co-create a safe space for practice.

Practicing together is how we grow both in capability and awareness.

As a coach you will practice with your players by co-creating situations, conversations, pivotal moments and peak experiences. You will create scenarios where they can practice skills, using their Superpowers and expressing themselves. Through practice they can experience the new version of themselves before they bring it out to the social world.

A BIG part of practicing together is observation and the experience of being SEEN.

We are ALL yearning to be seen by someone who knows what they are looking at!

As a coach you are going to observe your player as you adventure together and share with them what you see in a judgment-free way!

We all have blind spots in our thoughts and actions because we can’t see ourselves very clearly…as a coach you are a trusted outside observer who can really accelerate a players growth.

At the same time, your players will be observing YOU and absorbing your wisdom just by being around you. This does NOT mean you need to be perfect!! Not at all. It only means that you need to be REAL, self-expressed and living in growth mode.

This is the way life is meant to be played;  we are meant to co-create life with others; we are meant to be SEEN and valued by others. As a life coach you will bring this treasured life experience to your players – and everyone else you know – on a regular basis.

Life Coaches are truly a gift in the Human Family.

Being a Life Coach…

You will find that everything that you have figured out about life will serve you well in guiding others; but often not in the way you expect.

You will find that guiding others toward their dreams is quite different than finding your own way. HAH! Understatement.

You will call forth the best of your Human Nature as a relationship builder, co-creator and practice partner.

 

Center for Coaching Mastery Program

You will become someone who can coach like this step-by-step.

You will practice guiding without controlling… it takes quite a bit of practice!!

 

Link to Center for Coaching Mastery Philosophy

Link to Center for Coaching Mastery Program