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School of Coaching Training
Class 2702 - Coaching Proficiency #2: Reveals the Client to Themselves
January 7, 2003 - 5:00 p.m. EST
Susan Austin, Instructor

Susan: Welcome to you all! This is class #2702; this is proficiency #2 and this is Susan Austin. There are a couple of things I want to say about proficiencies in general and then we'll have a discussion around what revealing the client to himself means.

First, these proficiencies are phrased to created a partnership; as we go through these, I'll point this out. This is going to be a dual process; you'll need the client's help and it'll be a back-and-forth process. You can't know what to reveal - the whole point in the process is that it will uncover things that you're not even aware of. Some of these proficiencies are what I call '5-year plays', meaning that it'll take 5 years to become a master communicator; some of these are so large in the scope that it'll take 5 years. I'm guessing that most of you are doing this now, but my goal is to get you to do this even more frequently.

We're all learning these together, so there's no one who's mastered them, per se; most coaches are learning these over the last 6 months and will continue to do so over the next 6 months. The whole purpose of these proficiencies is to get you to think and coach bigger. The new way to coach is that you increase the client's awareness, and from that, amazing things can happen. This proficiency fits hand in hand with that. Clients aren't aware of what they do, and that's part of our role.

We usually need another person to see the important parts of our lives; we need the other person to see things we can't see clearly. I want to open it up for discussion; what does 'reveal' mean to you?

XXX: To me, it's that they have an epiphany about something about themselves.

Susan: Yes; very good! Who else?

Tara: It means that they become aware of the treasures they have and the power within themselves.

Susan: But what is it that allows them to see that?

Tara: I think partnering with a coach because they can't see it themselves.

Susan: Okay. Who else?

Ann: I think the opening role of the coach is that you're a mirror for the client.

Susan: Yes, but what does the word 'reveal' mean?

Ann: To peel back or show.

Susan: Yes, I use the analogy of the onion. When we do the role play, you'll see there are many ways to get at this reveal thing. What else does 'reveal' mean?

Patricia: There's a sense of enlightenment about it or some higher level insight.

Susan: Okay, so there's a levelness to what you're revealing. Did I say that right?

Patricia: Yes.

Susan: I would say that it also means to see what it already there and to help discover what is new. Clients are evolving all the time; people are re-inventing themselves every few years. Why do you think this is an important proficiency?

XXX: It's the first step in helping them move forward.

Susan: Yes, it's ignorance and unawareness that's holding the client back. Very good; who else?

XXX: It could help them measure their progress.

Susan: What do you mean?

XXX: If you share something new that you see in them as a result of the work you've done together, it's a mark of how far they've traveled.

Susan: Very good; I do that all the time with my coach, and it's not until my coach does this process with me that I realize how much progress I've made.

XXX: It can generate momentum in the coaching; you can get more done over time.

Susan: Very good; without this, it's harder to go some other places, right?

XXX: I think that's a very good idea; once the client sees this, it really gets things moving.

Susan: Yes, and a lot of times this is the key to the client becoming self-inspired. Since I've found coaching, this is probably the proficiency that's gotten me the most inspired. I'll say too that if you don't, who will? This is not something that people walk around doing for other people - it's not a commonly used communication skill.

XXX: It's something that's avoided outside the coaching relationship because people worry about offending.

Susan: Yes; very good. Again, we need a mirror - I'm not sure why, but I don't know anyone who doesn't. by revealing the client, you're also elevating them. through my coach, I've seen things about myself and have a much stronger foundation and that allows me to pursue bigger goals than I pursued before.

Let's switch gears a little bit and talk about how to reveal the client. How do you reveal the client to themselves?

Ann: One thing I find powerful with clients - I listen to them and give them their own words back with a slight twist.

Susan; Okay, so using the mirror, if you will. A lot of times you mirror back what they say, they hear it differently. The client can think something in their mind, but until they articulate it, it may not make sense for them. Very good; how else do you reveal the client?

XXX: Another thing that's useful is to listen to metaphors that they use; they give us clues.

Susan: Yes; good. I would say that, in my opinion, it's about trying to educate the client and don't ask for a change. Leave it up to the client to take the next step; there's enough power alone in the revealing that you can let the client run with it. Also, it's unnecessary to puff up the client; if you're revealing the right thing, there's no need to puff them up.

On the orb, Thomas shows you - and I'll describe real quickly how to read these. Basically, the way the orbs work is that the 'before' the client is confused and the 'after' is that the client is enlightened. Then, there are levels where you can drill down more deeply. One option is to expand their possibility; if you see special gifts, you can help reveal them. You can also work with their vision or mission to expand possibility, and lastly, identify their core elements - what motivates them or drives them. The DiSC assessments, for example, show the client their personality style. There's no one way to do this - there's more like 20 or 30.

What do you reveal to your clients? What are some of the things you reveal?

Patricia: I work with clients who are moving out of the corporate world into some kind of new area. Often, one of the things I reveal is how they've carried their work paradigm into their new life.

Susan: And they never really cut that cord; interesting. What else is worth revealing?

Ann: Sometimes I find if clients are anxious about making changes, we look at other changes they made and how that turned out - it's a surprise for them when they see that, and gives them a lot of confidence.

Susan: Great; a lot of times I'll reveal tone to my clients. If they're negative or complaining, for example, Thomas will reveal that to them. That's one way the mirror process really works. If they're being overly negative, I'll point that out also - I don't have them do anything with that fact, but I just point it out to the; it's up to them.

Also, we have in the handouts the 12 phases of personal development; there's a class, #2466 on this - it can actually be 2 to 3 months worth of coaching on that alone. I just want to read to you the brief description that Thomas put together for this proficiency (reads proficiency description). We're saying it's almost like you ask yourself what the client is unaware of that's getting in the way of whatever they want.

Cheryl: It seems to me - I've been in a situation where this didn't work out that great. If we had the idea that the client is ignorant and unaware, then the coach starts to get the idea that they know, and before you know it, there's the potential to go astray and do more counseling than revealing. I've seen that happen and I think we need to be aware of the pitfall.

Susan: Yes; I think we see our clients in a situation and can see very clearly what they're going through and the tendency is to pull them up where we're at. It's not about just telling the client, but it's an entire process that you're going through with the client.

Okay, do you want to do a role play? Wow, there's way too much enthusiasm. Okay, what we'll do is that I'll reveal something that I'm experiencing in my life. First, we'll throw out some of the different approaches you can take and then we'll dig a little deeper and focus on this proficiency. This is something I'm personally struggling with. It's a new year and I know people get excited about goals, but I've been working on trying to bring more health and fitness to my life. I've never spent a lot of time on this, and spent the last 15 years working on my mind - college, and so on. I want to make a more active choice on this, but what I'm struggling with is that I have this goal and during the week, I find it very quick to put the fitness aside. It's easy to put that off to the side so it's kind of frustrating, but I want to do this. What are the different ways you could coach this client? If I were your client, where would you go?

Cheryl: What does 'bringing fitness into your life' really mean?

Susan: Okay, good. I'm just curious - why would you want to ask that question?

Cheryl: Well, because you said that you've had fitness in your life a little bit, but you said you wanted to bring it in more and I'm just wondering what the gap is between what you have and what you want.

Susan: Okay; good. What else?

XXX: I want to know if you're avoiding, or addressing, the issue.

Susan: Very good. Who else? In general, what are the different approaches to coaching a client through this?

Kerry: I'd wonder if you're telling yourself the truth.

Susan: And why do you say that?

Kerry: In a general sense, when I hear a client say one thing but doing something different, that's where I go.

Susan: Very good; who else? I'm curious as to where you would take this.

Cheryl: I would probably talk with you about the kind of environments you have set up to support you in this goal.

Andy: I would ask if it's something you really want or something you think you should be doing.

Susan: Very good; there is really an endless number of ways to go on this. Now, we'll go specifically on revealing the client to themselves - something that they're not currently seeing. What do you think can be revealed to this client? What is worth revealing around this situation?

Donna: I'm curious about the sources of energy.

Susan: Yes, and a couple of the guys mentioned that too. And why does this client have this goal? The beauty in this, from a client's standpoint - I articulated that to you, but I don't have it in myself to go to the next level.

Cheryl: How about a pattern? I sense there's a pattern, so I wonder if it would be interesting to look at other areas in your life where this happens.

Susan: Yes, and you can almost tell from my voice that this isn't going to happen! Who else?

Ann: I would start by having you describe what you're doing already.

Susan: And what would that do?

Ann: I think you could see what the client's current pattern is at the moment, and see how to incorporate more into this pattern.

Susan: I think that would be helpful, but maybe not in this proficiency.

Julia: I would be curious about what your secret aspirations or dreams are around it.

Susan: And why?

Julia: You might find they weren't tied to fitness after all.

Susan: And more than likely, there's really nothing pulling the client. It sounds like a pretty big 'should' to me, and by doing just what you said, you might be able to find what would pull the client forward.

Dina: I would ask what excites you about personal fitness.

Susan: And help me see the connection between that and revealing the cient to themselves.

Dina: Well, again, what is exciting to you or any associations that would help make it happen. There might be an association that you haven't thought about before.

Susan: Okay, good. Am I hearing a little bit - and I'm putting words in your mouth - there's nothing internally compelling me that would get me to own this goal, if you will.

Dina: Yeah, I don't hear any excitement.

Patricia: I would like to ask why you characterize it as a struggle.

Susan: Okay, good, and why did you want to ask that?

Patricia: To establish a belief system, and reveal how the client sees fitness.

Susan: That's interesting because I see this whole area as a struggle, not an opportunity. I will eventually - at some point - get through this goal, but getting me to see that I look at problems, and I almost make a struggle out of them, there's greater learning in that than getting more fitness in my life.

Kerry: What I'm hearing is that you did say there was a lot of energy in doing your work but not so much in the fitness realm, so what's worth revealing is the sources of energy and motivators.

Susan: Yes! Very good. Anyone else? I'd just like to make a couple of comments. This is hard to nail down - revealing the client to themselves - but you can see how powerful it can be. If the client can figure this out, this could resolve 6 or 7 things in their life. It's hard to tell you exactly how you can do this, but I want to change your thinking to improve upon this and have you do it even more.

Okay, I'd just like to talk about some mistakes that could happen with this proficiency.

XXX: Depressing the trainer! (laugh)

Kerry: what's coming up for me is that as this revealing takes place, I want to be really conscious of not judging what is revealed. That would change my intention during the call.

Susan: Yes; I sometimes have difficulty when clients are struggling with someone to help them through this. It's almost like we're trained culturally to help people, but I agree with you, that's something you should be conscious of.

The other mistakes might be (1) asking for a change - let the client handle this one; (2) avoiding underlying integrity problems - if you sense something is off, sometimes when you get into their negativity that can be a provocative conversation; (3) holding back - again, if you sense something, don't change the topic.

Arlie: I was working with a client and I asked her if she would talk about a specific subject and she ended up talking about her teenage years. is it a mistake if you're wanting them to have a reaction and if you don't, aren't you doing it very well?

Susan: You wanted them to have resolution on this almost, and you're wondering if..

Arlie: I'm wondering if my wanting them to have something is one of the mistakes.

Susan: Yes, and I would say proficiency #7 would be the key, if you will, to un-gluing that for you.

Arlie: How would I know that they're getting value then?

Susan: Good question; if you have a need for them to have physical results, getting me to figure out this struggle - you may be working with a client for 6 months to have that a-ha moment - in one session means that you might need to be willing to not give any value at all. That's probably a whole other call by itself.

We're almost to the top of the hour; I'm wondering how this is helpful or what you're taking away. I emailed some notes out about this just about an hour ago.

XXX: Are these part of the required courses or in addition to these?

Susan: These will not be part of the Graduate School of Coaching. We're working on the paths to each of the 10 schools.

XXX: Could you end up spending a whole session on this revealing process?

Susan: Yes; you can actually take anyone of these proficiencies and work through an entire call. I would say that there are coaches out there who do this for the entire coaching period and provide tremendous value.

Patricia: I love the notion of not asking for a change.

Susan: Thank you; who else?

XXX: It's the same for me; I always ask for a change - it's opened up my mind for me!

XXX: I love the come-from abut getting curious about what the client's not aware of!

Susan: Great; anyone else?

XXX: I realized that a need to get a result was my own result that I wanted! (laugh)

Susan: It was a great call! Bye!



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