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Lesson 84
Theme this week: Avoiding Client Turnoffs for Increased Client Retention
Avoiding Turnoffs:   Being Arrogant
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People who are arrogant usually don't know that they are arrogant.

A couple of things to consider about this topic...

If you cannot afford to look bad, ignorant or stupid, you'll tend to be arrogant in an attempt to look good or dominate the situation. And thus, not learn much. So, you're guaranteed to look bad. Quite the cycle.

If you proselytize, you are probably arrogant.  Because you are pushing vs learning something new.

If you want to be less arrogant, don't try to be humble.  Rather, just be upfront with everyone about your skill or knowledge level in the area of conversation.

If you want to stop being arrogant, simply decide to become a lifelong learner and let go of any need to share or push what you have learned with others.  Learning is plenty.  You don't need to share it.  Really.

If you want to lose your arrogance, it may help to come to the
realization that, in this lifetime, you will never know enough. 

Listen about 10x more than you speak.  That'll probably correct the problem.  If you cannot make this shift, then something else is going on.

Stop trying so much to help people with what you've learned. Make your knowledge available to al those who wish it.  Be a spring where they dip their cup into what you've got.  It's a lot easier.  And you'll have more time to enjoy your life and your learning.

Let go of the notion of trying to be someone or some special, aka "terminally unique."  

Be so unwedded to information/facts/truth/experiences that you are willing to abandon all that you know that is true if you come across a totally different truth, trend, fact  or awareness that is compelling.  Reality is always temporary.  Facts are always being replaced with more current facts.  Stop holding on to what used to be true.  .  I am not afraid of ignorance; I think it's something of which to be excited about. After all, to include/endorse ignorance is something quite wonderful.

Take delight in your ignorance. It's a key and valuable part of life. Ignorance is nothing to be embarrassed about or to compensate for.

Do any of these statements sound familiar?

YES   NO QUESTION
____  ____ 1.  I am generally disdainful of soft approaches/solutions to problems.
____  ____ 2.  I am very good at what I do compared to others.
____  ____ 3.  I am only interested in what works.  Don't distract me.  Period.
____  ____ 4.  I am absolutely certain about this...
____  ____ 5.  X is X.  That is not X.
____  ____ 6. I'm in expert in this.  I know what works.  Listen to me.
____  ____ 7. That's an interesting proposal but here's why it's not going to work...
____  ____ 8. I know what you are about to say.
____  ____ 9. As Covey (or Ghandi or Robbins or Mother Theresa) says, X.  (Meaning that you use famous quotes a lot.)
____  ____ 10. I know all about that.  The way it work is...
____  ____ Totals
  Go for 100% no's.  But then, again, if you're that good, maybe you are arrogant...



The main point here...
...is that we're all naturally arrogant, and for very valid reasons.  The shift that is available is to be proud of what you know, but have learning be more important than knowing.
 


I hope that this was helpful.

Thomas


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