Lesson 53
Strengthening Your Reputation:
From helpful to wise
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A coach being helpful can be really, really irritating to the client, whereas wisdom is almost always welcome.

One of the most annoying things that a coach, or even a friend, can do when I'm sharing a problem I have, is to jump in quickly like Spot the Pavlovian doggie with well intentioned helpful hints, inane comments or tactical suggestions.

Maybe I'm the only one who gets irritated by this, but I rather doubt it.  Yet somewhere, somehow coaches are being trained to interrupt the client's process by sharing the first thing that comes to mind out of the coach's helpful bag of goodies.

You can hear it coming when you hear the coach start with...

"Have you tried..."
"Here's what you can do for that..."
"Oh, you need..."
"You should..."
"Just breathe..." (my personal favorite)
"May I offer a suggestion..."

My view is that there isn't any wisdom in the above.  Rather, these are feeble attempts by the well intentioned coach to earn their $200 an hour.

The fact is that most clients need to be heard and can't entertain/hear even very useful things until they've talked it out from their side.  Because, as you know, clients often work out their own dilemmas when talking out loud to another person because of the magic of hearing their words through their own ears.  I would imagine there have been  studies to prove how effective it is to hear yourself talk, especially when you're speaking to/with someone who is a great listener.  Because when the other person is a great listener, the environment is such that the stuff folks want/need to say has the space/room to come out because it's a safe place.

Interrupting with helpful ideas, suggestions, strategies or advice during this process turns what was a safe space into a space where you are competing with your own client.  And the client starts holding back.  And then, 3 weeks later, they let you go as their coach and you can't figure out why because you gave them such good stuff.

If there is one mistake that most coaches make it is this one.  And, in my view, it's the most common cause of losing a client, and losing their referrals.

So, besides listening, actively or passively, what can/should a coach do after the client has talked themselves out?  What's the wisdom that can be shared at this point without it turning into a helpful tidbit?

Here are two simple ways to "generate wisdom" in the coaching process.  There are many other ways and these are covered in the free How to Coach Anyone eCourse that begins later this month and in the Advanced Coach Training that CoachVille which begins in February 2002 as a membership upgrade.

1.  Share a distinction by asking a question.
A distinction is a subtle difference between two seemingly similar terms, like power and strength.  Yet the two words, while generally  synonymous actually exist on opposite poles. As one 'gets' the difference, evolution occurs.  Distinctions are tools and accelerants of personal evolution and one of the sources of wisdom.

Example #1
"So, would you say that you're in the middle of transitioning from being someone who is externally focused to someone who is becoming internally focused?"

Example #2
"So, would you say that you're replacing the power/force/push hard approach that's worked pretty well for you with the internal strength approach where you focus on developing your strengths at a much higher level and see where that takes you?"

2. Forward the client by creating a much bigger game.
Very, very few clients come to the coach with a big enough goal or game.  They either play safe because they don't yet have the self confidence, or they don't yet know how to get from a to z, or they want coaching to work and so the pick an easy goal.  And, sometimes, they don't want their coach to be disappointed in them, so they don't take the degree of risk that they could.

The trick is to ask a question or make a statement that helps the client see where they are in relationship to a much bigger game.

"Help me understand this.  Are you saying that succeeding in your business using traditional methods is more important to you than mastering the advanced set of entrepreneurial skills that will last you a lifetime?"


It sure beats helpfulness.


The next live TeleClass Leader Training Program from CoachVille begins in 2 weeks.  These live trainings by phone ALWAYS sell out.  Details below.

TeleClass Leader Training Program
The TeleClass Leader Program is a 6-week, comprehensive course on designing, marketing and conducting TeleClasses, led by Dave Buck.  Tuition is $99 and includes everything you read below. 

Upcoming Course Dates
Six Wednesdays, November 14, 21, 28, December 5, 12, 19, 2001, from 1100-1155pm Eastern/NY. US$99. (only $79 for CoachVille members!)
This class fills quickly. 
Click to register within seconds, with immediate access to materials.

--We also offer a RealAudio version with identical web access to materials/resources as the TeleClass version, for US$79.
Click to register within seconds for RealAudio/Web version.

Course Outline
Session #1. 
--The 5 Steps of Designing Your TeleClass
--How To Properly Craft Student Learning Objectives
--How To Include Your Students In the Design of Your TeleClass
--How To Design a Class That Works Well By Telephone for Adult Learners
--How To Turn the TeleClass Into a Learning Experience, Not Just a Class

Session #2. 
--Understanding the 10 Segments and Time Sequences Of Every TeleClass
--3 Simple Ways To Make Your TeleClass Highly Interactive and Engaging
--How To Present Information Without Boring Students With a Lecture
--5 Key Leading Techniques That Students Will Rave About
--How to Double Student Retention Using 1 Simple Technique

Session #3. 
--Using Your Voice As a Tool To Warm Students Up Immediately
--Segues, Responses and Questions To Make the TeleClass Richer For All
--How To Easily Weave In Coaching During Your TeleClass
--The 7 TeleClass Leading Mistakes That Leaders Make, and How To Avoid These 
--Popcorning: How to Make the Most of What Students' Share

Session #4. 
--3 Ways To Get the Class Started Well In the First 3 Minutes
--How To Teach To a Small Group
--How To Handle a Large Crowd
--How To Handle a Difficult Student
--5 Ways to Eliminate Any Nervousness As the Instructor

Session #5. 
--The 6 Universal Rules Of Successfully Packaging a TeleClass
--How To Write a Customer-Pulling TeleClass Title and Description
--10 Proven Ways To Fill Your TeleClass
--How To Turn Your TeleClass Into a Lifetime of Active and Passive Revenue
--How To Price Your TeleClass For Maximum Long and Short-term Revenue

Session #6. 
--How To Turn Your Students Into Coaching Clients
--How To Use Ezines To Fill Your TeleClasses, and vice-versa
--How To Use TeleClasses To Raise Your Profile and Build Your Brand
--How To Use TeleClasses To Create Intellectual Property.
--How To, and Why, Create a Virtual University

Instructor:  Dave Buck -

Materials and Resources included
(in addition to the six hours of RealAudio)

1. Instructor evaluation
2. 10 ways to market your TC's. 
3. 21 most important LazerPhrases. 
4. First 5-minute powerful openers.
5. 10 key TeleClass leading skills 
6. Making Money via "Free"TC's . 
7. Voice comments from a participant.
8. Creating the case for TC's.
9. The 5 deadly mistakes. 
10. 100 ways to create/lead TC's. 
11. Top 10 Benefits Of leading TC's. 
12. 101 Ways to Make Your Point. 
13. 50 TeleClass Leading Skills 
14. Sample Design: 12-week TeleProgram 
15. 3-steps to Writing/Packaging your TC. 
16. The Communication Flaws 100 
17. The Communication Skills 100  
18. Ways to use teleconference bridge. 
19. Getting your own bridge.
20. Getting the most out of a TC. 
21. Top 10 Types of TC's Corps Buy.
22. Top 10 Ways to Get a Corporation To Hire You As a Trainer/Coach.
23. Top 10 Components in every Corp TC. 
24. Sample Welcome Letters. 
25. Setting up a virtual university.
26. The Virtual U 100 Checklist 
27. Teaching Challenging TC's.
28. TeleClass Protocol and Instructions. 
29. TeleClass Design Checklist. 
30. 135 TeleClass Subject Ideas. 
31. Benefits of the Virtual Classroom. 
32. TeleClass Instructor 100. 
33. TeleClass Leader Skills 100. 
34. Types and Formats of TC's. 
35. General Tips on Leading TC's. 
36. Making $1,000,000 a Year TC's. 
37. TC Leading Mistakes to Avoid."

Click to register within seconds, with immediate access to materials.

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