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Transcript of Training Call
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Coaching Proficiencies
Proficiency
#5 - Expands the Client's Best Efforts
March 26, 2002 - 4:00 p.m. EST
Thomas Leonard, Session Leader
TJL: Hello and welcome to the call; who's joined us? (participants check
in). This is Thomas Leonard, and with me is Susan Austin. We have about 20 people from the
graduate school of coaching on the call as well. We're talking about proficiency #5 -
expanding the client's best efforts. We'll go through some of the mistakes people make in
this area, do some role-plays and answer questions. I'll read the paragraph on this
topic. (Thomas reads the paragraph.) I went to the dictionary and looked
up expand - it means a number of things. The original way we titled this
was 'presses the client's first efforts' we changed it to make it more
of a collaborative partnership. Often, by pressing, you make something
smaller, so we wanted to use expand to make it
understood that we're trying to make it larger.
Leah: I hear what my client is saying about what they'd like; I then ask
them to go to the next step of the goal.
TJL: The next step of the goal or the action towards the goal?
Leah: The next step of the goal.
TJL: Do you ask to do more sooner, more things simultaneously,
or...?
Leah: All those things.
Susan: When my coach has done this for me; I will bring a goal; she'll enlarge it and
throw it back to me. In the instance she makes the request, I'm able to step into thinking
bigger - I think 'expand' is the perfect word.
TJL: Is it a request, an invitation, a push, or what is it?
Susan: She requests it.
TJL: Like how?
Susan: If I say I want to get 3 new clients, she'll say
"How do you
feel about doubling it and trying to get 6 new clients this month?"
TJL: That's an invitation.
Susan: Yeah, I guess it is more of an invitation.
TJL: Great; who else?
Heidi: I was helping a client use her laptop, and I asked her if her
work on the computer were to be perfect, what that would bring her? She thought it would bring
her more business and a feeling of control. Then, I asked her if there were any other
areas where she felt in control of her life.
TJL: And as they think about that, the idea becomes larger and larger
and creates a vacuum - you can really expand a client's best efforts by helping them get
in touch with the long-term value. Is that what you were talking about, Heidi?
Heidi: Yes.
TJL: Great; who else?
Valerie: I'm also thinking of when you talk about asking the client,
"Why do you have problems at all?" - that's a conversation expander, for sure.
TJL: In some ways, it's expanding the game by using the efforts of the
first measure.
Rob: Some of the clients I work with have ADD and sometimes it is a
challenge to narrow their focus. There's a frustrating gap between ideas and creativity in the
mind, and action in the world.
TJL: Is there a way to expand on their best efforts without invalidating
their efforts? Have you done that?
Lorie: I think you have to be careful; I laid out everything I had done
in a week and it was huge, and the first thing she said, was "Great! What else are you
doing?" I thought, "Wasn't that enough," and then got it and jumped into the next mode. She
reminded me there's so much more I can do.
TJL: So it still wasn't your best effort.
Lorie: Yes, and she reminds me of that.
TJL: And how many times has she tried that with you? (laugh)
Lorie: She hasn't tried it again. She hasn't pushed me that way since,
but I always give more automatically now.
TJL: So the experience expanded your confidence?
Lorie: Yes; it was almost, "Can you keep up with me
now?"
TJL: It's amazing - in one sentence - she's almost doubling the value
you're getting from her.
Mary Jo: If a coach did that with me, I would get overwhelmed. I have ADD, and
I've learned my limits.
TJL: So the question is how would a coach know when to use that?
Mary Jo:
Exactly.
XXX: I would change the context of what the person was giving me - I
would say "What value does that have for you?"
TJL: So rather than judging what you think the value should be, you have
them decide.
XXX: Exactly.
TJL: Sometimes clients come to me and tell me they got this, and this, and
this done; I open the possibility that they could've gotten that all done in a day if
they'd had some support structures in place, and I ask it in a nice tone. Even though it
might not be possible, it forces them to look differently. I think I'm reasonably
productive on a good day, but nowhere near how productive I'm going to be in five years.
We're all getting much more effective; the game is more competitive today. Things that
used to take days or weeks now can get done in minutes. I want to make sure they know that
as good as they've done, I want to ask them to do more.
Susan: What do you do if your clients say 'no'?
TJL: I tell them absolutely; I back off for 5 minutes, and let
them take charge of the call.
XXX: There's an interesting thing too, and I can say no, but get off the
phone, and think, "Hmmm..."
TJL: Maybe it's a level of performance beyond the measures you've set
for yourself, but I can help you do that. It helps the clients become more effective in
general.
Heidi: I think it's absolutely true. I hadn't thought about doing
something faster, but just getting a little push really makes me expand and do more.
Another thing is the way questions are being used - a friend of mine called me last week
and wanted to know when I wanted to do a presentation, Wednesday or Thursday? She didn't
ask me if I wanted to do it, but when.
TJL: One reason clients hire us is to have them do more than they think
they can do; as long as you're not pushing too hard, I still think it's our job. They're
hiring us to actually have them do more, and this is one of the ways we can do that.
Whether they actually do it is up to them, but it's up to us to introduce the possibility
and make the request.
Dinah: I enjoy working with the clients from the inside out - if there's
any way I can get them motivated from the inside, then I would ask them how that would
make them feel. Then, I would ask them if they wanted more of that.
TJL: So you're doing 2 things - you're having them feel the experience
of their best effort, and then you're focusing on those feelings for the next game?
Dinah: Exactly.
TJL: Good comment.
Susan: When do you know how to expand with the client?
TJL: I always expand until they give me resistance, and serious
resistance. A friend gave me a quote, "No is the beginning of a serious conversation." I
generally push until I reach resistance. Some coaches play God, and, meanwhile, the client
was a lot more capable - we almost hold them back. Rather than us deciding on what a
person is capable of doing, let them decide - it may surprise both of you.
Rob: What are the keys to know if they're hitting true limitations?
TJL: Let's do that in a role-play, Rob, a little later.
Susan: Can you articulate the difference between a catalyst and an
accelerant?
TJL: A catalyst is generally something that initiates a reaction, and an
accelerant makes a reaction that's going to happen anyway happen faster. I think sometimes
people need encouragement to keep going, and sometimes they just need someone say,
"That's possible, you know." That's my non-dictionary definition.
Valerie: I wonder if we can expand the definition of this proficiency; I
was interested when you said it's not always about doing more. Is there a way to bring that
into the description?
TJL: So, call it expanding the client's best outcomes?
XXX: That's a good idea. It might be to accomplish more in a shorter
time with less effort - you really are bringing more out than is in the paragraph.
TJL: Well said. Oftentimes coaches work with their clients to take
actions, and then they manage the actions. There are other kinds of coaching where you're
managing the space; at that level, things just seem to happen.
XXX: I like what you said about expanding the client's best outcomes -
we're so tied into the efforts.
Susan: Also in the US, we're tied to results, too. Let's do a role-play.
TJL: Okay; I'll be the coach, and is there someone who'd like to be the
client? Who's got something they're particularly proud of that they've accomplished?
Gail: I just gave my first keynote speech Saturday, and was proud I
managed to pull it off.
TJL: What was it like?
Gail: It was a 45-minute speech to kick off a women's event in Rhode
Island. I talked about happiness, and the 5 steps to achieve it. It was interactive, and I
had them talking and sharing.
TJL: Wow! What did you learn from them about the process?
Gail: I learned how to get people quickly in the moment - I had to learn
how to read the crowd and adapt more quickly.
TJL: And what's going to be possible because this happened?
Gail: I have a chance to be a member of the National Speakers
Association by the end of the year.
TJL: Is there a place that's going to take you?
Gail: Yes - you mean in life?
TJL: Yes.
Gail: I envision myself speaking in large arenas some day.
TJL: And what is the appeal of that?
Gail: I'm - it makes me sad that people think all they can do in life is
just survive, rather than thrive.
TJL: Interesting; and how does doing this help you thrive?
Gail: It was so much fun. The energy of the room and the people, it was
fun.
TJL: Great; we'll stop here for a second. Can anyone see where they
could go with this client to take them beyond where they are now?
Rob: How about bringing your gift to more people sooner?
TJL: So you're asking if there is a bigger game that gets you into the NSA,
and gets you there sooner.
Gail: Yes, there is. I could start marketing myself much more lively as
far as these workshops go.
TJL: Are you still in the glow of what happened last week, or...?
Gail: No, I'm looking for what's next, so this is the perfect chance for
me to play with it.
TJL: Great; anybody else want to jump in here?
Leah: What if you changed the focus to what she wants other people
to get out of it and take it from there?
Gail: I truly want to see people thriving on this, so it's kind of a
two-way street.
TJL: Are you in touch with how people use what you teach? Do you have a
portfolio of success stories?
Gail: I'm starting to accumulate that now.
TJL: You may want to actually re-cast the game a bit to have you
accumulate stories that capture people moving from striving to thriving, and then you're
making the presentations only to spread the word and collect stories. You become
transparent in the process.
Gail: Very cool.
TJL: And then, it also puts you in the learning mode to let you see the
different ways people have gotten into that mode. It puts you in more of a building for
people category by using those stories. I'd be happy to help you at CoachVille. People
would love to tell that story because it's not something they've been asked before.
Gail: That would be great.
TJL: Great; anybody else want to contribute here?
Gail: Thank you everybody!
TJL: I don't know if it was successful or not, but what did you learn
from it?
Valerie: I think you really did expand - it's just so awesome. The
typical approach would be how can you do more speaking, but you went to
"What's the point
of this?" and that changed the game entirely.
TJL: And what makes the difference is when people can see lives affected
by their work. The NSA would be a by-product of this mission, rather than the focus.
XXX: It draws people in; enthusiasm is like sugar, but it can also end
up pushing people away if they're not in that moment.
XXX: When there's that confidence that comes from evidence, people feel
that in your voice and trust you even more.
TJL: Great; did anyone else learn something from this?
XXX: I think the comment you made about the by-products; I find that's
true for myself as well.
Rob: Yeah, you could've had her go down the goal path, but I think the
way you did it...
TJL: I could expand numerically her best efforts.
XXX: What I keep thinking of is that you've also provided her an
opportunity to leverage what she's been doing in the research phase, so it's like another
way of allowing her to accomplish more with less effort.
TJL: Yes, that told me that maybe she's got this wonderful cool idea and
it needs to be honed. The way to hone that is by gathering evidence from people who've
done it; that's part of the natural development process of an idea.
XXX: I like that you expanded beyond just having them send in
experiences, but also whether or not they've had her program because that keeps the
program going too. Then, you end up with people who are attracted because they want to
belong.
XXX: Because they know they're trying to contribute from their
perspective.
TJL: And they will then learn the technique of having it be about
it - the potential for what people can do in their lives. She's tapping into a trend, and
when you do that, it becomes much easier to tap into where your book or program should be.
They can realize that it's part of a bigger game. Anyone else?
Vicki: A couple of thoughts. The questions that you asked sounded more
like you were asking questions about her value base and her passions. Will coaches who
have an established relationship with clients, might they be likely to fall into the trap
of going for the numbers, rather than going back to the fundamentals, the core, the
passion?
TJL: Big question and a good one. The one thing I would say about it is
that I'm convinced that when a client has a success in a particular area, that success
redefines their values in some way. It does something. When I accomplish something, it
redefines me in general - I think differently because of the success, my priorities shift
a bit - outcomes aren't disconnected from us.
Leah: It sounds like the success is a new environment that you find
yourself in, and you're then evolving.
TJL: Yes; that's great - I'll just shut up. One of the aspects of the
graduate school of coaching is that we'll be very good environmental designers. We've just
now given her a new environment that will be evolving her for the next 20 years - it's a
different level of coaching.
Any final comments about the experience today?
Leah: I just wanted to say I'm glad I joined the graduate school of
coaching. This has been great today!
Gail: I was expanded beyond belief, and I just wanted to thank everybody
for all the points.
TJL: We're surprised as well!
Bob: I like the way you moved it from expansion meaning money to making
it about more than that.
TJL: Yes, the money would be coming from a different place. Who else?
Lorie: I like the comment about how successes continue to evolve us.
TJL: Obviously you guys are expanding me; thank you very much! Thank you
all for contributing, and Gail, have a great life!
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