Coach Dave hosted a gathering of TEAM CoachVille members to stay connected and talk about ways to co-create profound belonging and connection in this time of physical isolation.
Three main segments of the conversation
1) Speak your truth and be heard with judgment-free awareness
2) Ideas for how you will bring profound belonging to your tribe
3) How do we show up as coaches in this world of fear?
Including seeing the growth opportunities around us and how to bring the spirit of play to the situation.
SPEAKERS
Group, Eirini Metaxas, Sallianne, Don Eash, Jullie Hutton, Gary Ware, Brendalyn, Paul Hindeling, Erin Brimmer, Estelle Gibson, David Buck, Will Keller
Welcome
David Buck 00:01
Alright, hello to you coach Dave here. Great to be with you for this special team, CoachVille gathering. We are talking today about creating profound belonging in a time of potential isolation. This is a big, this is a big topic. And so I’m really excited to have an opportunity to gather with all of you and and talk about this and this is this is what team CoachVille is all about. It’s about it is about profound belonging and it’s about conversation.
David Buck 00:42
And being conversational, being connected, having a place where we can share and share ideas, share our fears, share our our growth opportunities, and feel connected in doing this and I think this could be really profound. For for All of us because as life coaches, we have a particular opportunity for sure. And maybe of our job per se, but we definitely have an opportunity to be voices of connection and voices of creative solutions and, and and looking at the perfection of the situation, I mean that that was Thomas’s fall back on every and everything that was happening: what’s the perfection of the situation?
David Buck 01:37
So this is something we, that we as coaches can bring to the conversation conversations happening around us, even if we don’t specifically say those words because some people might, might not be prepared to hear them. But we can still bring that framework to everything that we are doing. So it’s it’s great It’s a, it’s a great opportunity for us. So what we want to do with CoachVille is we want to create this environment of connection for all of you over the next couple of weeks or months, and then so that you can feel connected, you can feel belonging, and then that can power you up, to bring that out into your world and create that ripple effect of good that, that we’re all that we’re all playing for as life coaches in the world.
David Buck 02:32
So that’s what we’re going to do today. So we’ve got a couple of couple of topics we’re going to talk first about, do a little segment called speak your truth with judgment, free awareness, so that each of you each of us, has an opportunity just to share. How is this global pandemic affecting us? What’s on our mind what’s on your Your mind and and just have an opportunity to speak it. speak your truth is real power and being able to speak your truth in a judgment free space where no one’s going to try to fix it or judge it or any of that thing, but you can just speak your truth what’s happening for you in this situation. So we’ll do that.
Then we will talk about ideas on how to create profound belonging with and for the people that you care about your family, your friends, your clients, your communities, your colleagues. So how are you How can you bring profound belonging to those spaces, and this will be a Coachville community. Imagination experiment, you know, we’ll play with ideas together, we’ll be in small groups, everyone will have a chance to share and, and will co create a lot of things and maybe you’ll get some ideas and maybe You know, we this is Coachville. So we play with abracadabra all the time. And maybe while you’re speaking, you say something you hadn’t even thought of before. And that’ll be amazing. And that that happens all the time when we when we get together. So that’ll be something for you to, for we’ll play with that together.
And then the third conversation we will explore is how do we show up as coaches? What is our what is something special or unique about our role in the world as life coaches? And what is our what is our growth opportunity? What is the what is the growth opportunity for each of us and you’ll have a chance to share what you think that might be for you. So what is your growth opportunity? And a question that is something that we can only talk about in our inner circles here that might not be might not be able to talk about this out in the rest of the world, but it’s important, which is how do we bring the spirit of play to a global pandemic.
David Buck 05:02
That’s a conversation for us to have within ourselves. That’s not a conversation we take out into the world probably, maybe in some places you might be able to. But it’s an important conversation. Because everything happening in the world is an opportunity to play. We are humans, we are inherently playful. So what does that mean to how do we play in this scenario? So that’s coming down the road, you know, in segment three of this conversation.
So most of you are, as I’m looking at the board here, I know most of you so great to have you, you’re familiar with, with how we play here at CoachVille. So we are going to get into small groups here in a moment and have conversations, you know, we’ll we’ll go through each of these three conversations one by one, and and everyone will have a chance to participate and also here And just feel connected.
So let me just do this. Let me let me say this in a better way, I want to do one little thing before we go into the groups, which is, I want to ask you all to press a number on your phone. So I can organize and orchestrate the groups in a good way. So if you are in a place where you are definitely able to participate fully, please press a one. And if you are in a place where you might not be able to participate too much, you’re just wanting to kind of listen and be a part of it without being able to say too much, because of whatever wherever you are, press a five. And if you’re somewhere in the middle press of three. All right, so I just, I just want to make it make sure that the groups don’t all have people that can’t say too much all in one group that would that makes for a very clunky conversation. So I’ll just, I’ll just spread the threes and fives around the room. So that So that the groups are have ever had plenty of folks that can participate fully. Okay, sweet. Well done. And thank you for doing that. That’s really good. Okay, so hold on just a moment. I’m going to get these groups set up and then I’ll give you a little demo of what we’re, what we’re going to do here.
07:18
And here we go. So great. All right. Okay, so here’s what we’re going to do. We’re in groups, most of the groups are for some groups might have for with someone who is maybe not able to participate too much. So it might seem like three, so somewhere in the ballpark of three or four people.
Speak Your Truth of the situation
All I want you to do first is just take a minute each, to speak your truth of the current situation. This Cove advisor virus, it’s it’s affecting the world in an amazing ways, and but how is it affecting you personally?
So I’ll share my example. It’s come, it’s come upon us here I, you know, here I am. And you know, first thing I can say is I’m 58 years old and there’s all this talk about well, it’s only people over 60. And I’m thinking, well, do we round up on that? So as a 58? Am I really under 60? category? I don’t know. So how does the rounding work on this? And then I say, it’s not about the number. It’s about your immune system. And, you know, I feel like I take really good care of myself. My immunity should be strong, but who knows.
Then I live in New York City, and I’m around a lot of people. There’s a lot of people in New York City, so I’m not so much worried about the people but I am worried about, if this thing turns into like fear pandemic, are they going to lock down the streets are they going to close the bridges and tunnels? Should I get out of here? You know, go to the lake and quarantine out there for a couple of months. You know, so I don’t know. So there’s I have uncertainties about my living place, you know, what should I do if I if this thing turns into a six month nightmare and I got to get out of the city, do I want to evacuate my apartment just in case I don’t want to pay for for six months because I’m not even going to be here. You know, these are these are the things that are buzzing around in my mind. Some of them might be coherent, some of them might be crazy.
And so that’s that then I have my parents are both in the high risk zone. My mom especially diabetic 80 years old, lives in a facility with all other high risk people. I’m worried for her this could easily take her out. So that’s definitely on my mind. You know greatly and Yeah, so there you go. That’s my version of it.
So again, the idea is for us to be here for each other in a judgment free space. So when someone shares, you don’t have to fix it for them or even offer any advice about what to do just hear them just hear each other. So when someone takes their turn and shares, just take a minute, be cognizant of the time, just take one minute, share what’s on your mind, what’s happening for you in this situation, and people you care about, and then just hear each other and just give each other that affirmation. You know, I hear you. I hear you, I got you. That’s it. You don’t have to offer anything more because your presence is actually tremendously valuable. Just offer your presence. And, and, and hearing Okay, so that’s our first experiment. first conversation. So I’m going to we’re in groups of four. All right book We’re going to call timeout here, hold on just a moment.
{small group conversations}
All right, well done. Some really good conversations happening around the room. It’s really, really good. Let’s have a few people share. What I’d like to hear a few people share about is just what was what was it like having opportunity to speak the truth of your situation? What was it like hearing other people just speak the truth? Being able to see this from different perspectives? If you would, if you have an observation about that, please raise your hand. I would love to get a few other voices in here. One thing I did, I forgot to mention, which this is a thing. This is definitely you know, a thing for me personally is I have I have one client is in a very affected area and a very impacted business. And so we are restructuring our coaching time. So that’s, that’s affecting my my finances personally, and I suspect that it’s is something that will also continue. That’s so that’s, that’s another impact that that this could have on our lives. All right, so let’s hear a few thoughts What? What is your? What is either What was your truth or what? How did you feel being able to speak it or hear from others? Deborah, go ahead.
Deborah 12:23
Yes, thank you coach Dave. Well, in our group, we talked about our own emotions around this new challenge. And for me, it’s really about keeping my close family in the most calm and, and for my girls. playful as possible. But more than that, and what I really realized and really love about it is that we were talking about how us as coaches, we need to understand that we have an even more, even a greater we have a greater responsibility. Now. Now. Because we need to make sure that we are creating a new voice of calmness. Enough of, like you said sense of belonging, making sure that it is we don’t let the fear win in this situation even though everything is is a reality, we have to understand it from a different perspective and spread it active.
David Buck 13:25
Yeah, very nice. Great, Deborah, it’s great point. And this, this struck me, as I, you know, just been like, probably most everyone else is looking for the most calm or at least me I looked for the least politicized news sources that I can find of Okay, what’s really going on? What do I need to know? And one thing that really struck me was this idea of Okay, especially those people that are vulnerable, whether that’s, you know, elderly, weak immune system, etc, they need to isolate and I thought that Really, I don’t know if that’s an irony or weird, because isolation is the worst thing for your sense of well being for your immune system, you want to feel connected and loved and embraced, like that’s how you want to feel you want to feel isolated. Isolation is what makes you more vulnerable. But then isolation is the thing that keeps you free of a spreading virus. So this is a very interesting situation. So what do we do is like to stay out of the virus, we need the vulnerable people to isolate, but the vulnerable people, isolation is the last thing that they should feel. So what are we going to do? right and and then there’s the most vulnerable folks. And then there’s, you know, there’s teirs of vulnerability or layers of vulnerability. So, that is similar to what Deborah just shared.
My thought was okay, we’ve got to rise up, and we’ve got to as coaches, we need to do everything. Have for the people we know to feel connected to feel belonging. We’re, you know, we’re coachable folks, we know how to use virtual technologies to do connect, etc. So, you know, that’s this, you know, this is part of we’ll get to this in the next in the next segment of how how will each of you create belonging with people that you care about while you’re in physical isolation or the people you care about are in physical isolation? How are you going to create belonging? So we’ll get to that in a few moments. But first, we want to just get to the experience of being able to speak your truth This is where I am this is how it feels for me right now. And just kind of clear it’s a very important thing to clear the clear your energy or this put your energy out. So it’s, it’s so it’s not. So this your coaches we, when you speak, your energy moves, so your energy is not stuck when you start speaking your truth. That’s when things That’s when things start to move in a positive way. All right, thank you, Deborah.
David Buck 16:04
Brendalyn, you’re up next.
Brendalyn 16:06
Thank you so much. It felt very safe to speak. And I didn’t know I kind of needed that judgment for your awareness inside of the group.
Brendalyn 16:19
And I think I’m present to the opportunity that coaches have to as I was sharing in our group, you know, become a little bit more problem solving. And these times You know, I’ve had some parents who are moms and have older parents and so I got on just to think through the logistics because they’re just so overwhelming for so and I love to do that. So that’s just an offer. I made out some some of my clients and then also saying available making requests of my clients because they actually have more space now. So some of the things that were kind of stuck or hidden behind a lack of time. I put some of those things forth. And some were accepted today. Some weren’t. But I’ll keep really just having us continue to live our commitments. And personally, I’m just really excited. I’m moving and I’m essentially creating a space where people can be safe. And so, and I am, I’m not happy in any way about the situation, but I enjoy everything that I’m doing. I’m very productive and alive.
David Buck 17:30
Awesome. Great. Brendalyn. This is a great point. We’ll get to this. We’ll get to this point a little later. When we talk about how do we show up as coaches. That’s segment three brendlin is always like a skip ahead kind of participant. For real, this is a an amazing opportunity, an amazing opportunity for creativity to come upon us. So that is, that is a true All right, let’s get a few more on the board, Sallianne Go for it.
Sallianne 18:04
Well, thank you so much I am in the state of just overwhelm and confusion myself, the events are evolving hour by hour and both at work and with my family. And what I noticed is I carry like this, like, very varying degrees of stress in my body and I’ve been kind of like it, divorce level stress. And just having a minute to just say this is what’s happening and where my body is, was in a profound release for me. And then the other experience of practicing just saying, I hear you, I got you and not fixing it. That’s a big, that’s a big growth opportunity for me as a person, and but it felt good to hear my My fellow players say the same for coaches say that to me in response so it’s more reinforcement that this is what I need right now. And if it’s what I need it’s probably what others need so I really good good happy here and grateful
David Buck 19:19
awesome. Yeah, that’s exactly right Sallianne, Very well said thank you for putting that on the table. That’s brilliant. Awesome. Okay a few more. Erin Go for it.
Erin Brimmer 19:30
Yeah you know a lot of what I’m feeling has been shared I think um, two things are passing for me so related to what Sally and said we were in the same group that just being able to speak my fears out loud and whatever disorganized you know, way they’re tumbling out of my mouth. it helps them feel less burdensome in some way. So all of the things when they were spoken felt less fear instigating somehow, like I feel less afraid of the things that I’ve spoken. So just the power of just really letting giving myself permission to say out loud when I’m feeling as true changes what’s true for me in orientation?
David Buck 20:23
Correct. I would say one other thing. Can I just add one little point to what Erin is sharing, which is belonging is the pathway to overcome fear? Yeah, that’s a big truth, right is that when you feel a strong sense of belonging, you’re much less susceptible to any kind of fear, physical fear, social fear, etc. So it’s, it’s the speaking it, knowing you’re being heard, knowing you’re cared for knowing you’re in a space where you belong. That belonging has a big influence on how, as Sally was saying how your body is feeling and if your body feels less stress, because Oh, I know where I have a place of belonging. I feel good. I know I can be heard. I feel heard. That’s magical in the face of fear. Erin go ahead with what you were going to say.
Erin Brimmer 21:23
Yeah, the other thing that came up for me was just recognizing that when people are really under an intense degree of duress, right, and fear that it may change the way that they show up in your relationship. And so being able to practice some of the skills that we talk about, right, like enlarging space in the relationship and getting curious and remaining judgment free, right and holding a space of love, for all of the ways that people may be showing up. I feel like we’ll help us navigate better. And that was just again, popped up for me.
David Buck 22:05
Yeah, that’s a very, very good point. Yeah, it’s very important to practice judgment free presence, with with folks in our lives that we talk to, because they’re going to be showing up in all kinds of strange ways. based on whatever level of fear they have, or whatever level of belonging they feel. Their stress is going to come out in all sorts of ways. And so it’s important for us as coaches to be the ones that don’t react to that or judge it or judge them or that sort of thing and stay say that calm, that come present. Okay, excellent. Well done, everyone.
How will you create profound belonging with your tribe?
David Buck 22:47
Let’s go on to our next topic. So the next thing to share about in your group is for you to share in our Abracadabra fashion I create as I speak, which is what how will you create belonging with the people you care about your tribe. So, that could be family, friends, colleagues, clients, who whomever you need to create belonging with how are you planning to do it? What is your What is your belonging approach and that could be technical, it could be philosophical, emotional, what is what is what whatever it means to you, right. So, just speak your ideas, you know, what are you thinking of what do you what are you imagining you can do to create, create an uplevel the profound belonging in your in your tribe of influence and just share about it just take a minute share what what comes to what comes to mind for you, and then just again, hearing each other, just Be that place of listening Where? Okay, yeah, I hear you, I got you. That’s, I can see you doing that. And then, you know, again, you might get an eye you might get a great idea that you hadn’t thought of. If someone shows a great idea and then your turn comes up, say, Yeah, I love that idea. I’m going to do that too. Plus, hear some other ideas. Don’t feel. Don’t feel like you can’t repeat what someone else said. Because there’s going to be a repeat. That’s okay. Just speak it. The most important thing is speaking, speaking, speaking. Okay. Awesome. So again, going back into our small groups. Alright, folks, we’re going to call timeout here.
{small group conversations}
David Buck 24:39
Hold on just a moment. All right. So good. Wow. So, so good. Let’s have a few people share. I would love to hear anyone who would like to share what was your insight from just being in this conversation and and talking about All these different ways of creating belonging, let’s just bubble up some ideas to capture for the, for the recording and that other people are going to get to listen to. And also just what was it like having the opportunity to speak such things? Right, Julie go ahead?
Jullie Hutton 25:18
Hey, I was just going to share in our group it was it was great. Estelle was talking about that she does a Facebook Live series and her I think if I got it correctly, she’s a financial coach. And, and just about how the money thing is going to impact us. Incredibly and so, you know, bringing that kind of value to the world then and then Michael and our group also because this is the third recession potential recession that or or that he’s already gone through. I don’t know. I’m kidding. He is here. But anyway worry. And so because I had said, I was involved in the 2007 to 2012 recession that we had that hit us really hard in, in real estate where it was devastating. And so there’s so much there. And I know how I was involved at that time I was sitting with, with people who owned homes that were close to foreclosure, and it was a sad and heartbreaking time and, and creditors calling them and just to be able to reach out a hand and obviously it’s going to have to be virtually now but to reach out a hand and say, Hey, I’m with you. And I was in the similar situation, you know, so I think, you know, we all are in this together. And somebody in our group, yeah said that, you know, this is a sea change, you know. And I think Michael said, you know, it’s it’s about growing out, growing ourselves growing out to where the wave is headed, which I thought was an incredible statement.
David Buck 27:19
Awesome. Julie, well done. And thank you for all the wisdom of that group that came in. really well. So good. Great. Thank you, Julie. And Gary, Gary, go for it.
Gary Ware 27:33
Yeah, like, it was, like I’m not, you know, from great to share and collaborate. And one of the things that I shared that I’ve been doing is singing quick little video messages or, you know, audio messages, just something so that people can either see my face or hear my voice. And I had mentioned that a number of the people that are reached out to I hadn’t seen in a long time. This in person. So it was just a great reminder just to let people know that you’re there.
David Buck 28:06
Awesome, great idea. Hey, we’ve got this technology now let’s, let’s all use it. Let’s use it for good. It’s used so often for not good. So now is a great opportunity for us to use it for good. Absolutely. Awesome, Gary. Well done. Yeah, people want to hear from you. Belonging is the antidote to fear. Remember that that is the most important truth. Belonging is the antidote to fear. So anything you can do to create belonging, and just like Gary said, folks, you haven’t reached out to in a long time, reach out, reach out to people, send them a Hello, send them a note, send them an audio, send them a video, reach out. This is you know, we’ll get we’re going to talk about what we can do as coaches but that’s, you know, a special the special angle for coaches, but it’s far as like how to create belonging, reach out. Be that presence. Eirini you’re up next.
Eirini Metaxas 29:10
Hi, coach Dave. Oh, so yeah, a lot of it was said it mostly, you know, to be an example to be realistic but not to stop living. And, and, and to be just present and and not allow our thoughts to run wild in the future of what what if and what’s going to dry and to be, you know, yes to reach out to be understanding and to have compassion, what do others need, what can I do for you that that you possibly can need in you know, picking up the phone and reaching out to people, your families, the communities, and also I you know, I stopped. You know, I used to volunteer at the hospital. I can’t go there anymore. So I can share my deep breathing and meditation with other people. And it’s taking we discuss is taking that high ground and yes, picking up the phone and making connections and, and using the different platforms for inspiration, zoom, Facebook and all of that. And, and also, I think it’s a great opportunity. It’s a time to reflect on our gifts and blessings, and then share that is that empowers us and, and builds this up when we see what we have what we take for granted on an on a day to day basis.
David Buck 30:40
It’s true and one thing you know, as if this thing unfolds in a in a bad case scenario, and, and things that used to be readily available are not, that will be an opportunity of saying, Oh, that’s something I need to remember to be grateful for. I didn’t realize how fragile that was that it could possibly not be here. So that’s a that’s a very good point. That’s a different perspective than what was me. I can’t get this. It’s like, Oh, that’s something I need to be grateful for that I’ve had so easily available all the time. The Great point he had any Well done, thank you for your thank you for your blessings of wisdom. All right, Estelle, go ahead.
Estelle Gibson 31:22
Hey, coach, Dave, can you hear me? Okay. Okay. Well, first of all, I just want to say thank you for this opportunity to to provide this because I work in an environment which you know, is a municipal government and so I fell in the whole this week, right? But, but then I used it, I really did. I did a lot of work and I fell in the hole before most of the people people are waking up today and freaking out. I was freaking out for the last two days, but I did a lot of personal work. And as Julie said, I had decided to do a 12 week, Facebook Live series and all week I was like, I’m going to get sick and die. Why even bother? Do the Facebook I mean, it was like, I was in that mode. And today, I’m at Phuket. I’m not going nowhere. Let’s do this. Let’s, let’s get this going. So I spoke to one of my coaching buddies today. And it really helped shift me because we’re seeing this as an opportunity to reboot. The whole of society is in a reboot mode. They are thinking outside the box for everything. So we’re, we’re, you know, using all the tools that, you know, dealers and people have to set the pace in a different way. So I’ve completely shifted. And so I’m in the mode of possibility. And I saw that in the workplace that I’m in and that I got to stop being part of the problem that I have to stop falling into the conversations about gloom and doom. And I just got to be a light here, because people really need that. And so I’m doing that here at work and then with my clients, I’m just offering my clients were Getting to clients. And we’re going to talk tomorrow just on what you’re doing here, which has been a great model. How are you doing? You know, how are you feeling? You know, we’re just going to have n pop up sessions that they can unload, and then talk about some brainstorming some things that they can do, because they’re, they’re artists, they are solopreneurs. And they’re freaking out because everything that they had planned for the next month is cancelled. And they’re like, what are we and I’m like, this is an opportunity. It’s let’s, let’s go to the possibility realm and see this as an opportunity. So that’s, you know, kind of what I’m doing.
David Buck 33:37
Great. Awesome. Well done, Estelle. Perfect. All right.
What is our role as coaches in the world today?
David Buck 33:44
Let’s get to this next conversation. And I think we can there’s a few hands up I didn’t get to, and after this next conversation, I think we can weave it. We can weave it all together. So just taking it a step further. What is our role? as coaches in the world, in this scenario, and there are many ways of looking at this, you know, the, especially if you think about Coachville framework, spirit of play, growth opportunity, what’s the perfection? You know, if you think about, I mean, I’m a sports nut and I’m like really excited because I have a strong suspicion there’s going to be no professional sports till at least September. So my go to distraction is about to disappear. And that is awesome. So awesome. I am, because I’ve tried to self regulate in it. I can’t do it. I’ve just grown up with it. It’s in my bones. But if it just goes away for six months, oh, man, I can just imagine the creative potential in my mind if I could focus without that one. That one area of distraction, just as an example.
Maybe that seems frivolous, but I feel that this what is about to happen is going to be the most ginormous creative expression opportunity that’s ever happened in, in humanity. So, how do we as coaches step up to that be leaders in that be catalysts have that be the, you know, challenge everyone we are coaching and, and even potentially take on new players. As a side note, you know, if you join the call on Monday we’ll talk about this further, but I’m just going to tell you straight up, my coaching business tripled in the aftermath of 9/11 tripled. I was coaching. So many people I had a waiting list like you would not believe after 9/11 because it was just this global shift of… wait!. What am I doing with my life, life is more fragile than I ever took, you know, realize, what can I, what am I going to do and as a life coach, my business boomed.
So I just put that on the table. We’re going to talk about that more on Monday. But just thinking of like, how do we show up as cut as coaches now, knowing that there’s going to be a big wave. I think Michael said that, well, there’s going to be a tsunami wave of purpose that is going to hit and that’s going to be amazing. If you’re ready. If you’ve been preparing to ride that wave, if you’ve been swimming out to it, instead of hiding, you’re going to be able to ride that wave. So let’s just so just share within your group, how do we show up as coaches now during this panic time? What what what can we do within ourselves within our tribes with our players, just you know, the coaching angle. So just share in your groups, whatever comes to mind about that, and then we’ll, we’ll tie it all up together. In a few minutes at the end
{small group conversations}
David Buck 37:07
Okay, folks, take a moment and Thank you’re awesome conversation partners. All right, here we go.
Debrief
David Buck 37:17
So we have just a minute left in our official time, I am planning to stick around for a few minutes and hear from as many people as we can. I would love to hear a few perspectives and on like, how do we bring our coaching selves to this situation. So if you have an insight on that, that you can share, please raise your hand let’s get a bunch of these. And again, the intention one intention of this is for us, obviously to be here together. Which is awesome. But also to send this out to the all the coaches who couldn’t be here today. to just get get that get that coaching feeling from us. So anyone who could share Your insight about how you’re using this opportunity for good what is the what is your coaching self wanting to do wanting to become? Let’s just collect up a bunch of these awesome ideas so we can inspire the inspire the coaching world are I Paul, you’re up first so great to see you.
Paul Hindeling 38:25
Well, it’s it’s wonderful to be here when I saw the email come out from you coach Dave. It reminded me of I don’t know how many years ago when when we first met and I said, Boy, if there’s any leader on addressing a problem I had of time it’s actually a and with your entire coach Ville enterprise and what you’ve done. What a blessing for all of us to have your leadership. So thank you. I’m delighted to be connected. Connection is everything. Just emails from your whatever means that I’m, I’m meaningful in my life. And your belief in other people for all these years, has brought so much meaning to all of us. So I commend you on that. My my activities, which largely are more executive business consulting in the shorts, I quickly jumped on them and asked them to ask themselves and to ask all of their employees, what are the three activities that they’re doing that are meaningful to them business contribution, so that if they went and did it from home, or did it from the moon, that would be adding value? And second of all, what are the outcomes? Three outcomes that they would expect to commit to through this transition, whether it’s a week or a month or a year? How are they going to deliver value for their own life and, and for their company? And then somebody mentioned in our group about personal improvement, study and reflection, and all of the things that I know your whole Coachville community. They’re such deep people that are so sincere and delivering value for their families and everything that what are the three improvements that we should all be coaching each other on to do it, and just this conference and listening to the people that you have on board, just so understand that, that I think we’ve got a great to share with everybody.
David Buck 40:35
Awesome. Thank you, Paul. Well said couldn’t, couldn’t possibly say any better than that. So that is fantastic. Let me just say this if you need to check out at the top of the hour. Thank you so much for being here. We love you. We’re with you. We’re going to have a bunch of these calls in the weeks ahead, feel free to jump in anytime you’re we’re delighted to have you on our team. And to keep uplifting you so you can be that light out in your communities. And if you can stick around for a few more minutes as people are sharing their takeaways on how we show up as coaches, please stick around. I would love for that. Also. Don Eash you’re up next Go for it.
Don Eash 41:17
I could see, mine’s a quick one. My, my thing would be that as coaches, we each just make sure we take care of ourselves first, so that we have the capacity to take care of others. If we don’t do that we won’t be able to.
David Buck 41:32
It’s true. Very true. Exactly. Yes. Self Care is a prime importance right now that is for sure. Thank you, God. Well said, Brendalyn, you’re up next.
Brendalyn 41:45
I’m glad Don spoke I certainly have that as a takeaway, which how, you know, I wrote and what he said we have a responsibility to get ourselves together quickly and that really resonates as someone who has capacity, so really just hearing that other people also have capacity. So how can we leverage opportunities? So if there is a virtual happy hour sharing that in the Facebook group, and sharing that with our communities, as scheduled on my calendar time to just check in with the Facebook group, or coach Ville, it’s not something I do automatically. But that might be somewhere to participate more so that my, my tribe can also benefit. And then I’m hearing that, you know, I’m so glad Paul said it so well, but just your belief in us and just really, you know, getting the laughs Oh, and bringing us all in and thank you for caring for us in that way. And if you need any support, also, do let us know.
David Buck 42:54
Thank you, Brendalyn. I love that. Yeah, there’s a lot. There’s a lot. There’s a lot to be done. in the world right now for sure. And it’s, it’s sort of uniquely situated, you know, for our, for our business model being a virtual company for 20 plus years, you know, this is how we operate. So we have this technology, this is how we do things. And for many people who do things only in face to face things and meetings and that sort of thing. We we have a lot to offer. And so yeah, so this is, this is a great opportunity for all of us, especially you know, and you all you’ve been in so many teleclasses that you know how to do this. You can host a virtual conversation and get people together and you know what to do so do it. People want to get together they want to they, we have a, you know this we all have a deep human need to gather. But if it’s not saved together, face to face, we can still gather we’ve been doing it for 20 plus years. And it is awesome. We gather people all around the world. Every day. Sweet. Thank you brendlin for that. Estelle, what is your takeaway today?
Estelle Gibson 44:07
my takeaway is, oh my gosh, this is just so amazing. And I’m so excited and kind of like the last person shared, we got to do our own work. Because if we don’t, we’re going to get stuck. And so we have to keep doing our own work just like in coaching kind of do your own work and then bring what your gifts and talents are to the people that that you’re here to serve. And I see it more David’s like service opportunity creativity and service outage that creates belonging, but as this world shifts, we’ve got to see beyond you know, what’s important is for ourselves and for everybody else.
David Buck 44:51
This is gonna be a huge This is a huge alarm clock. Yeah, like wake up, people.
Estelle Gibson 45:00
I feel like
David Buck 45:01
we need to wake up to.
Estelle Gibson 45:03
I feel like why to pay again.
David Buck 45:05
Yeah, isn’t that boy member? Yeah, I do.
Estelle Gibson 45:08
Yeah, I was like, Oh, the way we do things is going to be different. And I’m excited about that. And, and us as coaches were way ahead because there’s been so many people that have canceled face to face meetings here. And they’re like, well, we’re going to try zoom and I’m like, zoom. I’ve been using zoom for three years. So like, it’s like finally, finally, people are gonna, you know, use zoom and do some of these things that are, we’ve been doing forever So, but I really love these. Belonging is the antidote to fear. It’s super important for me this week. And I think everybody else because I was isolating, because I felt like nobody was feeling what I was feeling and I was feeling the anxiety of it. And then it was weird. The next day I came in and people started being anxious and I felt It’s kind of crazy. I felt better because I then could talk to them because I couldn’t even talk to people, Dave because people were like, Oh, it’s fine. It’s the hope nothing’s gonna happen. And I’m like, Okay, I’m good. Yeah. And then the next day was like, in a day, they’re like, Oh my god, I’m freaking out. I’m like, What the hell happened overnight. So then I was able to go, you know, share with me tell them, you know, I was able to support them, but I couldn’t support them when they had a big fat wall up, you know.
David Buck 46:35
I think that’s gonna that’s going to change very, you know, obviously, it’s changed now over overnight all around the world. It’s like this thing suddenly became real. And there’s gonna be another level of that there’s, oh, it’s gonna pass in three weeks version and then there’s gonna be the oh crap. This is going to be six months of this. We got to figure out a new way of living. Three weeks is like a blip. Six months. Yeah, it is a lifestyle. The lifetime Yeah. So in this world I don’t know which way it’s gonna go. I’m not a prognosticator, but my, my instincts are telling me this is a six month play not a three week play.
Estelle Gibson 47:14
Yeah, with you. I’m going to do that, that you are here and helping us navigate this because I feel like on dip. I feel like a different person today. I really do. After I got your email yesterday, I was like, This is what I need. This is it. I just needed a shift in the super grateful over here.
David Buck 47:36
Thank you Estelle. always great to have you as well. Awesome. All right. We have time for a few more anyone else who would like to share what was your highlight or insight or what is your what I’m going to do as a coach takeaway? Anyone who would like to share that? I would be happy to hear it. Will go for it.
Will Keller 48:00
I have a question if it’s okay. So, you know, one of the things that we we learned to coach for that you coached me on it taught us was sometimes you just have to be with your player and acknowledge the, the bad situation without trying to fix it. And, and I’m really fighting that in terms of talk to my players or even, you know, with friends or family and all. If any, any thoughts on on how to let that be there but, but not have that somehow seem like we’re not trying to be helpful as a coach.
David Buck 48:39
Yeah, yeah, that’s a very it’s a good it’s a very good question. And this is, this is a, this is a an ongoing and always thing as coaches like how do we how do we play? How do we play together? So the first thing is, to, always would say, just become aware of the distinction of a person need to be heard to be seen. And just recognizing when someone is talking with you about their situation and you jump in to fix it. It’s a it’s it feels funny, it feels like you don’t actually see them, you just see the thing and you’re just, they’re not even there anymore. Now you’re just trying to fix it. So by not jumping in to fix something when someone is first talking about it, really hearing them, how is it feeling for them? What are their thoughts so far? You know, tease letting them be the source of just sharing about their situation, what ideas they have, etc. And then so that’s the first step, make sure the person is heard before you do anything else. And that they are a person, they’re not a problem. That’s the first thing. So then, then it’s the next thing is the coach approach to any situation is co created. So it’s not okay. Let me tell you what you need to do. It’s okay, let’s talk this through. Let’s share some ideas. What ideas do you have? Here’s some ideas I have, and really frame it, make sure they know. You’re not the fixer. You’re a co creative partner. And it could be your ideas. The one they go, Oh yeah, I didn’t even think of that. That’s exactly what I need to do. But if it’s in a co creative space, it feels like that. It’s like, okay, we co created some ideas and this is the one that I really resonate with, this is what I’m gonna do. And then that’s, that’s what you’re aiming for. So it’s a make sure they’re fully heard. They’re a person, they’re not a problem, and then be just find your way of being a co creative partner, which doesn’t mean you don’t share any ideas. Of course you do as a co creator. It’s like you’ve got this idea. Here’s an idea I’ve got let me you know, we spark and play off of each other. And that’s that’s coaching is poor. Together, play together play together. You’re not the fixer, you’re playing together with them. That maybe that’s a little esoteric, I’m not sure. How did that come? How did that come across for you? Will?
Will Keller 51:13
no, I mean, I think then then what I need to be very aware of in terms of my skill as a as a coach is, first of all, the pause to not jump in, but also understanding when they’re when they have been heard when they’re through talking out the problems, and then they wanted to shift to talking about potential solutions and trying to find that inflection point in the conversation.
David Buck 51:38
Yes, but I think I now that you’re saying that, I would say this, I would say the pathway is first you hear them out as a person. I would also say and I think in any conversation is not just like, Okay, I got these problems, but what is your big dream? You know, what is your purpose? What What is the big picture for you if you don’t already know that But even if you do know it, even if it’s somebody you coach all the time, it’s always powerful, especially in a time of stress. Sarah, before we get into the details of what the situation is problem, just speak for me how you see your big dream right now. What are you really playing for in life? Just give people an opportunity to voice their dream, not just their problems. So that’s number one, then, okay, what are the situations you’re dealing with? That’s number two. Number three, this is the bridge between the situation and the CO creation is okay. What is the growth opportunity here for you?
Will Keller 52:38
have the other thing that I’ve
David Buck 52:40
the things you’re facing, you know, who do you need to become? What skills do you need to develop? What is that what is the challenge them to see it as a growth opportunity and share with you who they need to become and what they need to become better at and that sort of thing. And then when you go into actions, you’re co creating toward their growth. Not just fixing it.
Will Keller 53:04
I just just add to that, no, no, no, no, I know that I’ve had more conversations about values this week than in the last two months with my player, right? In terms of, you know, family value comes first. It really is crystallizing. for them. A player today is learning that the company values that they all talked about on the posters, they’re not living them this these last few days. And it’s it’s upsetting to her on that side. But value has an anchor. Right? Very good.
David Buck 53:42
Yeah. And that’s, that’s a growth opportunity to really live by your spoken values. And maybe that it’s a growth opportunity to speak up say, Hey, we’re not living our values here. What’s going on? Right, that’s, those are all growth opportunities to recognize truth, speak. Truth speak truth to power. There’s a lot of growth opportunities in there.
Will Keller 54:07
Awesome. Lot’s to think about.
David Buck 54:09
Great question. Its a really good question. It’s a very, very good question. And, and I think the beautiful thing is, while this is especially important now, those, those are also the fundamentals of great coaching. You know, if you dream situation growth, co creation, do you if you kind of have that basic flow of coaching conversations, you’re going to do well are going to do really well. Okay, thank you all so much for being here. I don’t know if I think we should just go with it. You know, our thing we play with our CoachVille classes. When we wrap up our time together, we let everyone know we’re going out to play. It is still safe to go outdoors. So I think we should just do our little CoachVille module right now. I’m going to turn on the microphones, and just Let everyone know you’re going out to play. Thank you again for being here and being a member of Team, Coachville. We love you and we’ll talk to you again soon.
Group 55:19
Right. Thank you all.