Together we will explore the central activity that defines coaching:
Perceptive observations and Life-changing conversations.
“Observation-Conversation is profound because what performers and creators want more than anything is to be seen and known by someone who appreciates what they are doing AND can guide them to do it better”
– Me. (LOL. is it appropriate to quote yourself in a blog post that you are writing? not really sure about that.)
GREAT IDEA: click the down arrow on the upper right of this audio. Download the audio to your audio player of choice and take me with you on a drive, run or walk. I am great company!
You can read the article in PDF format here.
!! On Page 6 there is a print-able poster with the Definition of coaching.
The centerpiece of great coaching – the yin-yang of the relationship – is observation-conversation. Or going a little deeper I would call it perceptive observations and life-changing conversations.
To coach someone you have to observe them playing. Do a roleplay together. Watch a video of them leading a meeting. Listen to an audio of them in a conversation. If you are only talking and not observing, you are counseling, NOT coaching.
The game of life – as a sport or performance art – is played by relating and creating. In soccer or singing, observation is easy to orchestrate. But in Life it is a little more complex; the coach can’t watch the players’ whole life! So the coach and player need to co-create critical moments of relating or specific creations for the coach to observe.
At the top and bottom of the diamond that holds the yin-yang of observation-conversation you see the words Play and Explore. We have talked a bit about observing PLAY but it is essential to keep the distinction of “Safe Space” present.
Life is a funny game because it is always on. There is no “practice life”. But at the same time the coach can create the environment where the player is encouraged to explore new ways of being and doing. This is essential because it is the only way to create the “bringing forth” experience that I will talk about in the next section.
After observing, the conversation between coach and player can take many forms including: asking questions, offering feedback, making suggestions, teaching skills and sharing new perspectives. Sometimes the coach will demonstrate something for the player to observe. This is why the yin-yang symbol is so perfect here.
When we talk about coaching as a profound personal relationship, this is what we are talking about. It is so personal when someone can really see you and know you. As a coach you are that someone who knows everything that the player has overcome, has faced, has bounced back from, has grown from in the pursuit of their BIG Dream.
This is a BIG WOW in a life of lasting impact.
Here is the full definition! You can get this as a print-able poster on page 6 of this PDF
A Profound Personal Relationship
People are yearning to connect on a deeper level
with someone wise who shares their DREAM.
A great coach enjoys the real you.
Wherein the Coach Guides the Player
People do NOT want to be told what to do;
But they don’t want to waste time
figuring everything out on their own either.
A great coach is skilled at co-creating WITH you.
In Pursuit of Playing Better
People are yearning to play, to create, to explore, to experiment and to grow.
They are tired of a stressful focus on tasks,
problems and trying to be perfect.
A great coach will energize you with the Spirit of Play.
People thirst for the opportunity to express their unique voice
They want to make a difference in the lives of others
and win on their own terms.
A great coach elicits your unique contribution.
Through Perceptive Observations
People long to be seen and appreciated.
They also want insightful, personal feedback that helps them grow.
A great coach sees you and challenges you without judgment.
And Life-changing Conversations
People are craving deeper, bigger,
more personal conversations about purpose.
They are tired of talking about superficial nonsense.
A great coach talks with you about what matters most.
AND… It Is Always a Choice
The Coach and the Player both choose each other.
They are both free to support and challenge each other in positive ways.
A great coaching relationship is a joy for both.
Share your insights and inspirations!
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Play will change your life.
Coaching others to play better…
will change the world!